Masa aku kat U dulu, aku paling suka bila lecturer wat group discussion...especially if dapat reading materials and derives ko punye understanding from dat....yang pastinya, each person will come out with different interpretation....
lecturer favourite aku adela miss Ong Siaw Kim, Miss Ng Siew mei, Dr Anuar, Mr Lim n Prof Moses...
Miss Ong adelah seorg yg sgt skema dan ketat rules grammarnye selain mempunyai penglihatan yg amat tajam....so klu aku main cucuk2 dgn melissa kat blakang kelas...die bley tahu jenama pen ape yg aku gunakan nk cucuk Melissa tu...tp dgn die ni aku belajar 1 important lesson, you have to learn the rule before you can break it...mcm blajar grammar...ko kena ikut bulat2 beb ape yg ade dlm buku....and bile ko ase dah pro...bley le ko come out the creative license ko utk goreng2 cerita best utk wat journal ke, short story ke, novel ke...so klu ko nk mendalami literature...ko kena la blajar grammar dulu....basic rules...n die suke tembak org jawab soalan die...klu ko xprepare...bersedia utk terjun luar tingkap...so aku kena sentiasa bersiap sedia memberi jawapan dgn reason yg munasabah klu jawapan aku salah.....
Miss Ng plak ajar aku cara nak detect fallacy....kire ape yg die ajar tu jd mantra aku sampai skang...slippery slope, red herring, symphaty appeal, bandwagon, overgeneralisation , personal attack, straw man bla bla bla....adalah element yg masih aku praktikkan bile membaca reading material....so everytime dpt reading material, die akan tanya, tanya, dan tanya lagi....n kitorg akan jawab, jawab dan jawab ag...smpila dpt conclusion yg munasab dan boleh dipakai...
Dr Anuar lak...seorg lecturer yg sgt cool....die sgt observant and sukakan inovasi.....tp klu die ase xbest...die hentam juge....but teguran die xwat aku down...coz cara die kritik sgt subtle...instead of poiting out weaknesess...he gives suggestion for improvement...bile aku pilih lagu My Way (Frank Sinatra) utk budak2, die suro aku tukar coz xsesuai...it might be inspiring n all...but lagu My Way tu utk org yg dah tua...yg umur nak ujung2 dah....n aku accept his critict kerana cara dia yg subtle...n still cakap akunye presentation OK....
Mr Lim...adelah lecturer paling faveret aku....die mmg xskema, hobi die adelah tido time kitorg wat presentation...tp aku xsalahkan die pun...coz mase aku blajar Issuess in science teaching dgn die, classmate aku bantai pakat buat 50+ slide utk powerpoint presentation...kadang2...dgn aku skali pun join tido...slide show terbanyak aku pun masih di bawah 30.aku tau mesti ramai akan cakap...gile bodoh ape wat slide show banyak gitew....tapi itu semua atas dasar creativity n knowledge input yg nak disampaikan...n one thing about my science classmate...most of them don't talk rubbish...or copy n paste dari internet....most of them know what they are talking about...klu x, kena belasah le dgn mr Lim kalau xdapat jawab soalan die. lagi satu perangai Mr Lim...klu die xtido..die suka menyampuk....walaupun die suke minum teh tarik time kelas....n masuk klas lambat...kalau ko salah bagi fact...ko kena ceramah dgn die...dun pray pray....pronunciation pun kena jaga...salah sebut...terus die betulkan....but the best part about his class....adelah discussion after presentation....normally aku memang kuar jap g beli milo ais kat kafe time nih...time nih...die akan point out sesuatu issue n open discussion...trust me...klu klas nih tiga jam...cuma ade 1 jam utk presentation dan yg selebihnya discussion..(klu ikut schedule awal bley wat sampai 5 presentation) .klu aku xterlalu mengantuk...aku biasenye aku join discussion...well...time neh mmg best gile....mostly classmate aku akan tak this opportunity utk luahkan view diorg...this side or other side or both side....tanpa prejudice...kdg2 sampai perkara yg absurd pun bley keluar..sampai mulut ko asik ternganga..xberkesempatan nak tutup...contohnye...seorg classmate aku yg sgt taksub dgn pegangan jehovahnye...yg tidak membenarkan pengikut pegangan tu menderma darah....mengeluarkan latest finding tentang penciptaan darah palsu sebagai alternative derma darah....or seorg yg lagi pula mengeluarkan kenyataan homosexuality itu sebenarnya bukan kecenderungan seks tetapi part of mental illness (which is true) wlupun org xbley nk terima kenyataan...something out of the norm in not normal (if you can't accept schizophrenia as normal...why the double-standard?) or debate about theory of evolution vs pro creation, about the creation of technology..sape org pertama cipta kapal terbang? are u sure it's wright brothers?....n many more...
Last skali, subject yg aku suka..future English...by Prof Moses...Superb...he's actually clueless with our ability to goreng and menipu die kaw2...kekuatan batch aku tidak terletak pada keskemaan kami....cakap pasal skema...kami memang hancur lebur....tp kekuatan kami adalah pada getting the jobs done..wlupun ade loophole kat situ...n kitorg pun mmg agak pemalas orgnya...tp dgn berkat didikan lecturer2 kitorg sebelum nih...menyebabkan bakat menggoreng itu keluar seperti air dari mulut kitorang...we can make out gold comes from shit...we can make a piece of KFC phamplet yg asalnya nak usha ape nk g makan jap ag kat KFC as an important article in the discussion about Global media.....Yes we can...bak kempen Barrack Obama....Prof Moses...though how oblivious he is with his surrounding...but when he open his mouth...he never cease to amaze me...suke bercakap tentang daily experience n contact dgn surrounding die...n aku xrase bosan pun...walaupun kdg2 aku suke merepek dalam kelas die...n kadang2 aku tido...kalau awal pagi je la...kelas die asik pukul 8 je dulu...tension I...dah la nak parking kat UM tu seksa gile...
N lepas aku kerja ni, aku sangat rindu moment2 berdiskusi dgn kawan2...xsemestinya sebulu....or sependapat..but dgn discussion yg sihat dan xberat sebelah (melihat dari segala aspek, bukan mengikut kuantiti penyokong, bukan mengikut emosi semasa, but berdasarkan pandangan dari mata seorang individual yg berbeza berdasarkan fakta yg tersedia)....we come to the conclusion....that's why...klu nk wat assignment, selalula bg member bace draft kamu...supaya klu ade proofreader....kita bley tahu ape pendapat org lain tentang hasil kerja kita...
Dah kerja ni, aku sentiasa dalam dilema utk bertanya...aku nih jenis xpaham...aku akan tanya lebih2 sampai lebam...but budaya tempat kerja aku jenis...aku bg tau sekali..pastu pandai2 kau la...so bile aku screw up dlm kerja aku...teruk la aku kena hentam...walaupun kerja yg aku buat xde kena-mengena dgn tugas aku mengajar anak bangsa...contohnye...buat pamplet utk hari guru, hari kantin, hari kanak-kanak, surat jemput VIP itu, VIP ini...minit mesyuarat...bla bla bla.....aku rase malu asik nk singgah meja cikgu BM tanye die betul x ayat aku nih, formal ke x bahasa yang aku guna ni.....n then org atasan aku yg trusting at d same time kurang kebertanggungjawaban...etc...aku bg ketua aku utk proofread report, aku bg assisstant die skali drafting....sume kate ok...aku pun print n edar...pastu kena bancuh....psl ade error...ade yg xtulis nama bapak...n trus cakap aku xcompetent n bodo sombong....yg ketua kt atas aku yg sepatutnye proofread n edit kerja aku buat don't know n suro aku jgn buat kesilapan yg sama lagi.....dun...baik aku xyh wat draft lain kali...inilah jadinya bila xde perbincangan yg bermakna.
Bila time meeting, aku sgt suka bila ada suara2 yg question authority...wlupun hakikatnye diorg pun sama 2x5...tp kat situ kita bley nampak...ada keseimbangan dalam penyampaian dan pengendalian sesuatu isu...mesyuarat adalah medan yg sesuai utk meluahkan rasa tak puas hati at the same time juga medan yg digunakan utk membela diri....di situ perbincangan yg bermakna berlaku....
Perbincangan yg bermakna itu penting bg melahirkan generasi yg faham dan tahu apa yg patut kita tahu dan bukan tahu apa yang kita mahu or org lain mahu kita tahu....semua perkara kat dunia ni bukan setakat black vs white or good vs evil...byk gray area...byk cause n effect yg perlu difahami dan diambil kira...so kekurangan perbincangan yg bermakna boleh menyebabkan kedangkalan otak at the same time, kita akan rasa kita sentiasa betul walaupun kita salah...n kita akan berfikir dan bertindak mengikut emosi.....trust me, the most beautiful thing about Shakespeare is not his work of art...but his way of doing the arts....he left it to us to interpret it and to judge....
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
To understand the mind and the soul of our neighbor's nation....Indonesia.....from the lay man point of view..
Why and what makes them hate us so much?????
It all started with the confrontation between Malaysia and Indonesia back in the 1962-1966....to put it simply....Sukarno (the president of Indonesia) at that time hold a grudge due to the creation of Malaysia. Claiming that Malaysia is a British puppet and the formation of Malaysia will increase British control over the Malaya archipelago.Frustrated with Malaysia action to not taking part in the founding of "Maphilindo" and claiming Sarawak and Sabah as part of the Malaysia,Unable to realize his dream of Indonesia raya, holding a grudge. Sukarno decided to pursue with the campaign "Ganyang Malaysia".
So this is where it all started....Malaysia, since the day of it's independence practices constitutional democracy while our neighbor at the early year of independence chose to walk a different path by practicing guided democracy.And what is the different between the two....In Malaysia...yang Dipertuan Agung is the head of the country while prime minister will help with the governing.
Indonesia...being a republic country, they have the president in charge of governing. Back in Sukarno's years of ruling it is widely known that he is a huge fan of communism...n why communism? because unlike other type of practices...communism is sided with the labor and the common people....and for the oppressed nation due to colonization, communism seems like a greater choice...having the absolute freedom to govern the country without intervention from the west.Unlike Malaysia who chose to nurture the diplomatic relationship with the west, Sukarno chose to server the ties completely.
Throughout the independence of Indonesia, the people of that republic had never truly achieved a real freedom...because of a long period of colonization. the post-colonization era is filled with tragic incident. Due to the interfering from the west who sees communism as a threat therefore conspire with Suharto, one of the General during Sukarno era, a coup had taken place and Sukarno is overthrown. Suharto replaced Sukarno as the president and the new era begin. The relationship with the west is mended. The economic condition improving. Communism eroded and replaced by the New Order which the army had taken the center stage...this is the reason why even after Suharto is forced to resign...the army is still a prominent figure and quiet feared in Indonesia.
Due to the recession and the issue of corruption. Suharto is forced to resigned and slapped with corruption charges. Even his family paid the price for it.This is the moment where the real democracy arisen...Indonesian finally has the real chance to speak out, to choose and to give opinion about certain matters. The media finally has a total freedom to do whatever they want to do and write whatever they want to write without the government peaking every second.
Felt cherished with that bless. Their axis now is concentrated on "Reformasi". With hope that Malaysia, will choose to walk the same path, and overthrow the present government by seeing Anwar Ibrahim as their own version of Megawati Sukarnoputri....once again, the hope sank to the bottom of the sea...because Malaysia refused to walk in the same shoes. The fact is loud and clear, the Malaysian has a much capable leader than Indonesia..
Hence, seeing Malaysia as a rebellious little brother, Indonesia started to feel threaten and the old grudge rise again. The Indonesian media, being the culprit behind all the commotion that occurs lately has finally cross the line and become the spark that give birth of Malaysia vs Indonesia Confrontation part 2. Sensationalized the issues of between Malaysia and Indonesia, twisted every detail until the truth and the lies intertwine, with the support of their government to evade the truth about their weakness in administration, blinded by false patriotism....the hatred and the hate towards Malaysia has born. But this heat of hatred only felt strongly at the Java island where the capital city of Jakarta takes place.And not the whole nation.
These extreme groups comprises of the schools teenagers and the university students: the pawns which mind are easily manipulated, the academician and politician with ulterior motives, the innocents bystanders whose mind are blinded by phony patriotism and the biased media greedy to make money have nurtured the hatred towards the whole Indonesian nation. The Indonesian nation is a nation full of pride and patriotism. These elements are what make they overlook the real issue that they are suffering which are poverty and incapable current leadership. The ongoing difficult life that they undergo while the rebellious little brother citizen live in prosperity help in inducing low self-esteem inside them.
Claiming that Malaysian are showy people and culture-stealing nation without even thinking that more than quarter of Malaysian citizen ancestors are originally came from Indonesia. Don' they have the right to practice their own culture? Is it fair for the Malaysian citizen?
If Malaysia is so much at fault with stealing Indonesia culture in order to promote Malaysia at the eyes of the world. Why don't the Indonesia administration do something to promote their culture outside?The lack of or might be non-existence promotion of Indonesian culture is the real issue here. No effort taken to nourish and introduce their own culture to the outside world.
The freedom to use the internet without restriction from their government is also one of the reason things getting worse. Indonesia is the largest country in South East Asia. Their population outnumbered Malaysia population with big number. Therefore, they have the power to manipulate the internet to create propaganda. Imagine one people spreading false information to create chaos between Malaysia and Indonesia, the multiply in by millions....and multiply again by millions...each day and every day.....the non-existence issue will become a bigger issues that will surely sure shake the good relationship between Malaysia and Indonesia.
When talking about Indonesia. People will have the concept of inept leadership where corruption takes a center stage, the Indonesia labor migration to other country because of the lack of job opportunity or the cheap pay given to the labor, the inability of the leader to get in control of it's provinces and the feud with the separatist (remember Irian, East Timor and Acheh?). But, failing to take a closer look at this matter, the Indonesia government trying to divert the focus to Ambalat. Claiming that Malaysia is once again, After the joining of Borneo into Malaysia, is stealing the land of Indonesia little by little. If they so much lack of capability to govern such a big country, why do they still insist on keeping them?
Then again....Indonesia as a nation full of pride. The pride that they hold on to is the weapon that drove them to the ground. Malaysian should keep their mouth shut and ears deaf from the provocation by made Indonesia. Fighting back or try to rationalize with people who unable to think rationally is worthless. If the Malaysian learn not to be provoked easily and keep mumming...the noise will stop...
One day, the Indonesian will realize that they are barking at the wrong tree...and they will understand that the true meaning of freedom is not only restricted to freedom of speech, they should begin to see that the day when they able to get the job without having to pay someone, when they able to walk into the prestigious shopping mall with being classed or stopped by the security guard, that the big restaurants are not only for the elites, where everyone get the privilege of free education and healthcare system...and that is the time they can hold on to their pride without having to be looked down by other nation.
It all started with the confrontation between Malaysia and Indonesia back in the 1962-1966....to put it simply....Sukarno (the president of Indonesia) at that time hold a grudge due to the creation of Malaysia. Claiming that Malaysia is a British puppet and the formation of Malaysia will increase British control over the Malaya archipelago.Frustrated with Malaysia action to not taking part in the founding of "Maphilindo" and claiming Sarawak and Sabah as part of the Malaysia,Unable to realize his dream of Indonesia raya, holding a grudge. Sukarno decided to pursue with the campaign "Ganyang Malaysia".
So this is where it all started....Malaysia, since the day of it's independence practices constitutional democracy while our neighbor at the early year of independence chose to walk a different path by practicing guided democracy.And what is the different between the two....In Malaysia...yang Dipertuan Agung is the head of the country while prime minister will help with the governing.
Indonesia...being a republic country, they have the president in charge of governing. Back in Sukarno's years of ruling it is widely known that he is a huge fan of communism...n why communism? because unlike other type of practices...communism is sided with the labor and the common people....and for the oppressed nation due to colonization, communism seems like a greater choice...having the absolute freedom to govern the country without intervention from the west.Unlike Malaysia who chose to nurture the diplomatic relationship with the west, Sukarno chose to server the ties completely.
Throughout the independence of Indonesia, the people of that republic had never truly achieved a real freedom...because of a long period of colonization. the post-colonization era is filled with tragic incident. Due to the interfering from the west who sees communism as a threat therefore conspire with Suharto, one of the General during Sukarno era, a coup had taken place and Sukarno is overthrown. Suharto replaced Sukarno as the president and the new era begin. The relationship with the west is mended. The economic condition improving. Communism eroded and replaced by the New Order which the army had taken the center stage...this is the reason why even after Suharto is forced to resign...the army is still a prominent figure and quiet feared in Indonesia.
Due to the recession and the issue of corruption. Suharto is forced to resigned and slapped with corruption charges. Even his family paid the price for it.This is the moment where the real democracy arisen...Indonesian finally has the real chance to speak out, to choose and to give opinion about certain matters. The media finally has a total freedom to do whatever they want to do and write whatever they want to write without the government peaking every second.
Felt cherished with that bless. Their axis now is concentrated on "Reformasi". With hope that Malaysia, will choose to walk the same path, and overthrow the present government by seeing Anwar Ibrahim as their own version of Megawati Sukarnoputri....once again, the hope sank to the bottom of the sea...because Malaysia refused to walk in the same shoes. The fact is loud and clear, the Malaysian has a much capable leader than Indonesia..
Hence, seeing Malaysia as a rebellious little brother, Indonesia started to feel threaten and the old grudge rise again. The Indonesian media, being the culprit behind all the commotion that occurs lately has finally cross the line and become the spark that give birth of Malaysia vs Indonesia Confrontation part 2. Sensationalized the issues of between Malaysia and Indonesia, twisted every detail until the truth and the lies intertwine, with the support of their government to evade the truth about their weakness in administration, blinded by false patriotism....the hatred and the hate towards Malaysia has born. But this heat of hatred only felt strongly at the Java island where the capital city of Jakarta takes place.And not the whole nation.
These extreme groups comprises of the schools teenagers and the university students: the pawns which mind are easily manipulated, the academician and politician with ulterior motives, the innocents bystanders whose mind are blinded by phony patriotism and the biased media greedy to make money have nurtured the hatred towards the whole Indonesian nation. The Indonesian nation is a nation full of pride and patriotism. These elements are what make they overlook the real issue that they are suffering which are poverty and incapable current leadership. The ongoing difficult life that they undergo while the rebellious little brother citizen live in prosperity help in inducing low self-esteem inside them.
Claiming that Malaysian are showy people and culture-stealing nation without even thinking that more than quarter of Malaysian citizen ancestors are originally came from Indonesia. Don' they have the right to practice their own culture? Is it fair for the Malaysian citizen?
If Malaysia is so much at fault with stealing Indonesia culture in order to promote Malaysia at the eyes of the world. Why don't the Indonesia administration do something to promote their culture outside?The lack of or might be non-existence promotion of Indonesian culture is the real issue here. No effort taken to nourish and introduce their own culture to the outside world.
The freedom to use the internet without restriction from their government is also one of the reason things getting worse. Indonesia is the largest country in South East Asia. Their population outnumbered Malaysia population with big number. Therefore, they have the power to manipulate the internet to create propaganda. Imagine one people spreading false information to create chaos between Malaysia and Indonesia, the multiply in by millions....and multiply again by millions...each day and every day.....the non-existence issue will become a bigger issues that will surely sure shake the good relationship between Malaysia and Indonesia.
When talking about Indonesia. People will have the concept of inept leadership where corruption takes a center stage, the Indonesia labor migration to other country because of the lack of job opportunity or the cheap pay given to the labor, the inability of the leader to get in control of it's provinces and the feud with the separatist (remember Irian, East Timor and Acheh?). But, failing to take a closer look at this matter, the Indonesia government trying to divert the focus to Ambalat. Claiming that Malaysia is once again, After the joining of Borneo into Malaysia, is stealing the land of Indonesia little by little. If they so much lack of capability to govern such a big country, why do they still insist on keeping them?
Then again....Indonesia as a nation full of pride. The pride that they hold on to is the weapon that drove them to the ground. Malaysian should keep their mouth shut and ears deaf from the provocation by made Indonesia. Fighting back or try to rationalize with people who unable to think rationally is worthless. If the Malaysian learn not to be provoked easily and keep mumming...the noise will stop...
One day, the Indonesian will realize that they are barking at the wrong tree...and they will understand that the true meaning of freedom is not only restricted to freedom of speech, they should begin to see that the day when they able to get the job without having to pay someone, when they able to walk into the prestigious shopping mall with being classed or stopped by the security guard, that the big restaurants are not only for the elites, where everyone get the privilege of free education and healthcare system...and that is the time they can hold on to their pride without having to be looked down by other nation.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
n that's funny
I'm known as a girl with "a slap to a face tongue"....i'm not fond of giving nasty remarks but i'm a big fan of cynicism...i have the ability to change even the sweetest moment into a dark comedy....yep...dark comedy is my ultimate favorite genre....
it happens a lot...you know when i say nice things about people, or the situation....my mates will look at me with the eager eyes....looking forward for a twist in my statement....sort of like when i say "she is pretty" or "it's not that bad" there will be a pause....n people start paying attention....waiting for what will come next...n if i just stop there....they will look at me with disbelief....with the face that said "you should say more....we know it....there must be more..."...and i say "what...can't I just be innocent once in a while.....???"
My besties are familiar wit this side of me....so if they are willing to hear the truth....i would be more than open my mouth to vomit it....I'm not good at giving advice....but i could give you the real picture of your situation...i won't say nice words to make you happy...i will give the reality in front of you n i make fun of it....yep...make fun of it....
n why wud i do dat????....coz 4 god sake.....i'm tired of seeing people lie to themselves n asking other people what they should do...when they don't bother to listen...n they know fully well...what they want is stay stuck with the problem...coz making decision will get them hurt.....by making decision they have to move on...they have to start anew...they have to begin from zero again....it's ugly...see...that's why people don't bother with the truth...coz they have gone to far....n after all the wasted efforts...they can't just stop n start over....it's easier to be the victim than try to find the solution...it's easier to dwell in their misfortune rather than move on with their life...coz people are more afraid of loneliness than useless company.....they are hurting but they don't want to get hurt...don't you think it's funny????
And what's more funny....seeing people lie when there is no reason to lie....with the lame reason "i don't want people talking about me"...wtf is that....don't you think people are dumb that they won't find out the truth....come on...admit it...if you do shitty things...no matter how hard you try, you can't hide it....but if the shitty things you do is not worth hiding....why bother...why make things worse n let people gossiping about you....for example...if your bf give u a car...don't be stupid n tell the world ur daddy give the car to you...u can just smile...n tell people...."it's a secret"....or if u r a second wife, don't go telling people that the reason your husband married you is because he wants a child of his own...coz nobody bothers to know why....if you still expect people will look at you in a brighter light by showing your (lie version) good side....you think wrong....the more lies you give...the more excuses u lay out....the uglier things become....n people will talk even more...
When people are in trouble....or havin a problem wit other people...they always in need of allies to back them up...these people are weak...i always believe...if people mess wit you...somewhere along the line...in the past...you might had screwed with other people...n now the time for reckoning come to your face....but u just can't take it...so b4 you start blaming...why dun u ask yourselves "what is wrong?" before telling a bunch of your friends or selling sad story of your cute little life being ransacked by this or that people....n turn these people into haters just becoz someone screwed your life....why don't u just be strong n face it.fight them your own way..clean up your own mess..why do you think by having people at your side make u right?....they are your friend...of coz they support you no matter how wrong you are.Sometimes the fault is ours...but by having people to support you...it blinds you from noticing it.....
just like Nora Danish blames Fasha Sandha as a husband stealer n a gold digger just becoz Fasha took her husband from her when everybody knows the truth...whether Rizal belongs to Nora or Fasha....both of them are equally the same....ain't it funny???
it happens a lot...you know when i say nice things about people, or the situation....my mates will look at me with the eager eyes....looking forward for a twist in my statement....sort of like when i say "she is pretty" or "it's not that bad" there will be a pause....n people start paying attention....waiting for what will come next...n if i just stop there....they will look at me with disbelief....with the face that said "you should say more....we know it....there must be more..."...and i say "what...can't I just be innocent once in a while.....???"
My besties are familiar wit this side of me....so if they are willing to hear the truth....i would be more than open my mouth to vomit it....I'm not good at giving advice....but i could give you the real picture of your situation...i won't say nice words to make you happy...i will give the reality in front of you n i make fun of it....yep...make fun of it....
n why wud i do dat????....coz 4 god sake.....i'm tired of seeing people lie to themselves n asking other people what they should do...when they don't bother to listen...n they know fully well...what they want is stay stuck with the problem...coz making decision will get them hurt.....by making decision they have to move on...they have to start anew...they have to begin from zero again....it's ugly...see...that's why people don't bother with the truth...coz they have gone to far....n after all the wasted efforts...they can't just stop n start over....it's easier to be the victim than try to find the solution...it's easier to dwell in their misfortune rather than move on with their life...coz people are more afraid of loneliness than useless company.....they are hurting but they don't want to get hurt...don't you think it's funny????
And what's more funny....seeing people lie when there is no reason to lie....with the lame reason "i don't want people talking about me"...wtf is that....don't you think people are dumb that they won't find out the truth....come on...admit it...if you do shitty things...no matter how hard you try, you can't hide it....but if the shitty things you do is not worth hiding....why bother...why make things worse n let people gossiping about you....for example...if your bf give u a car...don't be stupid n tell the world ur daddy give the car to you...u can just smile...n tell people...."it's a secret"....or if u r a second wife, don't go telling people that the reason your husband married you is because he wants a child of his own...coz nobody bothers to know why....if you still expect people will look at you in a brighter light by showing your (lie version) good side....you think wrong....the more lies you give...the more excuses u lay out....the uglier things become....n people will talk even more...
When people are in trouble....or havin a problem wit other people...they always in need of allies to back them up...these people are weak...i always believe...if people mess wit you...somewhere along the line...in the past...you might had screwed with other people...n now the time for reckoning come to your face....but u just can't take it...so b4 you start blaming...why dun u ask yourselves "what is wrong?" before telling a bunch of your friends or selling sad story of your cute little life being ransacked by this or that people....n turn these people into haters just becoz someone screwed your life....why don't u just be strong n face it.fight them your own way..clean up your own mess..why do you think by having people at your side make u right?....they are your friend...of coz they support you no matter how wrong you are.Sometimes the fault is ours...but by having people to support you...it blinds you from noticing it.....
just like Nora Danish blames Fasha Sandha as a husband stealer n a gold digger just becoz Fasha took her husband from her when everybody knows the truth...whether Rizal belongs to Nora or Fasha....both of them are equally the same....ain't it funny???
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
erk...kejamnye si B
Perbualan telefon antara A dan B.......
B: Hello A, td ko call ye? sori la xangkat aku tido.....
A: Oh...a'ah td saya call awak?
B:Nape?
A:Saya sedih la B....awak tgh watpe tuh....
B: Tgh tgk movie...
A:Saya nih x ok skang neh...byk masalah saya....
B:.........
A: Macam- macam masalah saya, family saya, kerja saya, kesihatan saya....semua orang xfaham saya...saya xtau dah nk cakap dengan siapa????
B:..........
A: Family saya macam dah xkisah dgn saye, kwn2 tempat kerja pula mcm xsuka saya...dah lah saya asik sakit2 je.....diorg asik2 nak perli saya...
B:.........
A: Saya sedih la B...rasa macam saya ni sorang2...xde sape ambil kisah....bla bla bla......
(lepas 1 jam)
B:...........
A: ok la B....macam dah lame kite cakap.....thanks la sebab dengar saya mengadu ye.
B:Ok....(dalam ati "damn....movie best dah abis....damn.....credit aku dah abis......sob sob sob.....)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
fixing n getting in control
I thought my day as the fixer is over...but when it comes to working environment...the fixing part has come to revisit me...just like a deja vu...I always have the preconception that the adults should be more mature in thinking and judging...but how wrong I am....the same shit happens regardless your age...
The typical mindset of looking for someone to point fingers to, to dump all the responsibility to so as to make their own life easier, the lack of interest of getting things done.....it's the same old craps that I found back in the Uni days....but at this age....it is...capital UGLY.....
Since i like to observe how things done before i get into the picture....I find many things that amuse me..and to see the aged people acting childishly is WOW.....i'm so speechless....and I flashback to back when I started working, i screwed thing up badly....my register book is a total mess, I'm not good at preparing program booklet, n i left my SBPT list unattended until the last minute...to tell the truth I fake the data for the SBOA...damn...i do feel bad...i don't know whether it is due to lack of motivation or I"m just purely busy..but when i get the chance..i attend to it one at a time....it's really freaking difficult...for a lazy ass like me...i wish documents n data never exist....
When it comes to fixing things..n getting things done...I'm natural...i adapt easily..I just love to have everything under control...And I am clueless as to why this habit of fixing things sticks with me..I just hate to see the carefully laid plan screwed up if it could be improved...it's a shame....though I myself is a screwed up case. When people pop me with the question...don't u feel used? why do you put up wit it? i lost for words...coz i'm not seeing myself as a victim...i do have a time when i just throw everything...i do have the lazy spell....but there are times that i just want to work it...to make things possible..to patch the hole on the sinking boat....it's not easy but it's worth it...i do not see myself as a reliable person...but trying my best doesn't hurt...it just me to have a back up....it's not like i'm trying to impress people...i just happen to think quicker...
and how do i learn all these...through experience...n u just know what to expect from people that u work with...utilize their strength n minimize their craps....I'm happy to work with an asshole if he can do his job well, and i won't be frustrated if my partner is a lay backer to the core....that's why professionally I hardly feel frustrated whomever is my working partner...coz I'm the type who would choose my enemy over my friend if it help completed the work....I don't think it's a hypocrisy...i call it surviving...coz in the end...if things blown to pieces...u are to blame...coz you don't work it enough to succeed it...
There are times that I blew it..things that i just couldn't control....just like when the UPSR result for English came out...though it's only decreasing by a mere 7%...it is still going down...those percentages came from my student...I talked to myself..."it's shit Amy..it is your fault..."although people around me trying to make me feel better...it doesn't work...coz it's beyond my control...and I'm out of my comfort zone...therefore I lost the confidence....
and now, thanks to the "trying to fix things up to make it easier", i've become a JU...another field i'm not familiar with...i am agitating...it's hard to be in control of the things you are not familiar with...i know this stuff will take it's toll on me sooner or later...but it's a shame to turn a blind eye from something within your power to fix...n i hope people will get me when they see me doing something that shouldn't be mine to deal with at the first place...unlike other people....it just so not my style seeing other people screwed up and not do anything about it....
The typical mindset of looking for someone to point fingers to, to dump all the responsibility to so as to make their own life easier, the lack of interest of getting things done.....it's the same old craps that I found back in the Uni days....but at this age....it is...capital UGLY.....
Since i like to observe how things done before i get into the picture....I find many things that amuse me..and to see the aged people acting childishly is WOW.....i'm so speechless....and I flashback to back when I started working, i screwed thing up badly....my register book is a total mess, I'm not good at preparing program booklet, n i left my SBPT list unattended until the last minute...to tell the truth I fake the data for the SBOA...damn...i do feel bad...i don't know whether it is due to lack of motivation or I"m just purely busy..but when i get the chance..i attend to it one at a time....it's really freaking difficult...for a lazy ass like me...i wish documents n data never exist....
When it comes to fixing things..n getting things done...I'm natural...i adapt easily..I just love to have everything under control...And I am clueless as to why this habit of fixing things sticks with me..I just hate to see the carefully laid plan screwed up if it could be improved...it's a shame....though I myself is a screwed up case. When people pop me with the question...don't u feel used? why do you put up wit it? i lost for words...coz i'm not seeing myself as a victim...i do have a time when i just throw everything...i do have the lazy spell....but there are times that i just want to work it...to make things possible..to patch the hole on the sinking boat....it's not easy but it's worth it...i do not see myself as a reliable person...but trying my best doesn't hurt...it just me to have a back up....it's not like i'm trying to impress people...i just happen to think quicker...
and how do i learn all these...through experience...n u just know what to expect from people that u work with...utilize their strength n minimize their craps....I'm happy to work with an asshole if he can do his job well, and i won't be frustrated if my partner is a lay backer to the core....that's why professionally I hardly feel frustrated whomever is my working partner...coz I'm the type who would choose my enemy over my friend if it help completed the work....I don't think it's a hypocrisy...i call it surviving...coz in the end...if things blown to pieces...u are to blame...coz you don't work it enough to succeed it...
There are times that I blew it..things that i just couldn't control....just like when the UPSR result for English came out...though it's only decreasing by a mere 7%...it is still going down...those percentages came from my student...I talked to myself..."it's shit Amy..it is your fault..."although people around me trying to make me feel better...it doesn't work...coz it's beyond my control...and I'm out of my comfort zone...therefore I lost the confidence....
and now, thanks to the "trying to fix things up to make it easier", i've become a JU...another field i'm not familiar with...i am agitating...it's hard to be in control of the things you are not familiar with...i know this stuff will take it's toll on me sooner or later...but it's a shame to turn a blind eye from something within your power to fix...n i hope people will get me when they see me doing something that shouldn't be mine to deal with at the first place...unlike other people....it just so not my style seeing other people screwed up and not do anything about it....
Sunday, September 19, 2010
apekah pilihan aku?
Ramai orang tanya...dimanakah kedudukan sebenar aku bila masuk bab politik, bab agama, bab bangsa n bab negara. Jawapan aku simple...mcm yg aku tulis kat FB...Apathetic....Ramai org kata, orang mcm aku xde pendirian...coz bg diorg untuk jd org berpendirian kita kena take side...ade aku kisah???
1st of all, klu tanye aku sape yg aku akan undi utk pilihan raya akan datang...sorry...i dun vote for parties...I'm looking at the individual....balik Ampang skang hati aku senang...jalan dah xberlubang2.....tq to ADUN bahagian Chempaka dari parti PAS....n aku sgt happy coz lift kat rumah aku...dua2 lift dah repair...n sgt cantik....tq to KERAJAAN PUSAT dari parti komponen BN....n sape aku nk undi nnt...ko pk sendri la.....
Bg aku...the rule is simple...if leader ko...yg duduk kt atas tu buat kerja betul2...n benefit die mmg dpt kt rakyat...aku sokong....I hate personal agenda....that's why aku xsuke Anwar Ibrahim...duh.....even blind people can see kot....so walaupun die mmg baik gile sekalipun...but once dia jadikan perjuangan dia tu personal...he won't get my vote...
n xkirela opposition or government...dua2 pun ade pro n cons...mcm aku...sbb aku kerja dgn kerajaan...mestilah aku kena sokong kerajaan...but klu opposition come out with something plausible n good...xdela aku condemn....coz kerajaan yg kite ade nih pun bukan maksum..or betul 100%....
Bagi aku...individuality n party is a separate matter...xsemestinya ko dari parti A...ko kene act and react mcm kebanyakan org dari golongan parti A...keberanian bersuara bila tahu ada sesuatu yang salah...that's they key to success...Lgpun dari kelakuan politician sendri pun,kite boleh observe yg die nih org yg macam mana...i mean kalau letak Khairy Jamaluddin, Mukhriz Mahathir n Nurul Izzah dalam satu lain...n push aside korg punye personal sentiment...and study the facts....the real facts about those three's contribution towards our nation...it doesn't take genius to guess it....Korang sendri tahu jawapannya kan?
Bile tgk kat TV...politician guna personal attack...main balas2 serangan...korang tak rasa menyampah ke? Tp masih ada lagi org yang mengikuti benda2 macam ni.Once again, memang la reputasi tu penting....but hilang reputasi kerana hasil kerja yg hampeh berbanding kisah personal ko yg hampeh tu lagi jahanam kot...cthnye...tgk ape jd dekat Tun Abdullah Haji Ahmad Badawi....his reputation is marred due to what people say 'his inability to handle the situation'....
So...bagi aku...klu personal ko baik..tak minum arak...xmain perempuan..xmakan rasuah...tapi ko gagal melaksanakan amanah yg rakyat bagi kat ko...what's the point???? Tapi jgnla pulak kate aku xkisah politician negara aku buat benda2 keji tu....yg salah tetap salah...cume kita kena fikir kenapa kita pilih die...pasal die baik pijak semut xmati or pasal die buat kerja n jaga kebajikan kita sebagai rakyat...
Aku rasa, apa yg kurang dgn kita adalah kemampuan berfikir secara objective...bagus juga semua university mewajibkan course neh sekarang....bagus tindakan kerajaan wat macam nih setelah ramai graduan univertisy menganggur kerana kurang kemahiran mendengar, berkomunikasi dan berfikir....Dari zaman sekolah lagi...CCTS tu jd element penting dalam pembelajaran bagi melahir wholesome citizen....bukan wholesome bread....kita sekarang jarang tanye kenapa n bagaimana....kita lagi suka menerima dan menerima....kita dah malas untuk berfikir...klu boleh di-subkan pemikiran kita...dah lama kita buat....but that's not the right way...aku sendri pun kadang2 pemalas bab fikir-fikir nih....tapi ada mase, kena juga berfikir...baik dan buruk satu keputusan tuh....mcm harga petrol yg nak naik lg nih....hmmm...oleh kerana aku xterjejas sgt...xdela aku melolong kalau minyak naik....dari dulu pun aku gune ron97...n bile ron97 naik arge...aku masih ag pakai ron97....coz aku cume bwk kancil...so berapa sgt la kancil tuh makan minyak....kalau aku isi ron97 dkt shell full tank (rm 40)...seminggu bley tahan....bile pk balik....bile minyak naik...betul ke yg terjejas adelah org berpendapatan rendah....aku waktu berpendapatan rendah dulu (masa belajar), aku naik bas, aku naik LRT...klu naik motor sekalipun...pernah ke full tank smpi rm10 ag???? aku rase yg banyak terjejas adelah org yg mempunyai tangki kereta besar....lu pk la sendri...kereta besar bley beli...minyak mahal banyak bunyik....
Sebenarnya...org bukan takut pasal minyak mahal...tp after effect lepas minyak jd mahal tuh....pas harga minyak naik...mesti harga brg naik....n setiap kali tu la kerajaan jd org bodo....coz sampai sekarang diorg xbley menangani masalah pembekal n peniaga yg menaikkan barang sesuka hati...balik2 denda....klu org2 kaya nih di denda berpuluh2 ribu pun diorg boleh bayar....money is no matter for them...klu bagi denda...esok luse naik lagi la harga gule, minyak,tepung...nak cover duit bayar denda...n rakyat juga jd mangsa....
Sebenarnye jauh di sudut hati, semua rakyat mahukan kerajaan yg effective...takyah g jauh...walaupun aku berapa suka kaedah forced discipline yg kerajaan Singapore pakai...but it works......jarang dgr pemerintah kat selatan sana terlibat dalam kes rasuah....Negara boleh hancur pasal rasuah...kapitalism subur membesar dgn rasuah....Malaysia adalah negara yg semakin berpaksikan kapitalisme....sedikit demi sedikit dah ke arah itu...the rich is getting richer...the poor is getting poorer...berapa ramai la sangat org kita nih yg sanggup buat kerja amal tanpa mengharapkan balasan....klu sebab nak escape byr cukai...ramai la....
So as a conclusion, kita sebagai rakyat...kita kena tahu ape yg kita nak...bukan ape yg org rase kita nak...pasal bangsa, agama dan negara...itu semua dah ada dekat perlembagaan Malaysia...baca dan fahami balik...don't ask pointless question n don't question fixed variables....as long as it still working n won't harm you...why make a fuss???
1st of all, klu tanye aku sape yg aku akan undi utk pilihan raya akan datang...sorry...i dun vote for parties...I'm looking at the individual....balik Ampang skang hati aku senang...jalan dah xberlubang2.....tq to ADUN bahagian Chempaka dari parti PAS....n aku sgt happy coz lift kat rumah aku...dua2 lift dah repair...n sgt cantik....tq to KERAJAAN PUSAT dari parti komponen BN....n sape aku nk undi nnt...ko pk sendri la.....
Bg aku...the rule is simple...if leader ko...yg duduk kt atas tu buat kerja betul2...n benefit die mmg dpt kt rakyat...aku sokong....I hate personal agenda....that's why aku xsuke Anwar Ibrahim...duh.....even blind people can see kot....so walaupun die mmg baik gile sekalipun...but once dia jadikan perjuangan dia tu personal...he won't get my vote...
n xkirela opposition or government...dua2 pun ade pro n cons...mcm aku...sbb aku kerja dgn kerajaan...mestilah aku kena sokong kerajaan...but klu opposition come out with something plausible n good...xdela aku condemn....coz kerajaan yg kite ade nih pun bukan maksum..or betul 100%....
Bagi aku...individuality n party is a separate matter...xsemestinya ko dari parti A...ko kene act and react mcm kebanyakan org dari golongan parti A...keberanian bersuara bila tahu ada sesuatu yang salah...that's they key to success...Lgpun dari kelakuan politician sendri pun,kite boleh observe yg die nih org yg macam mana...i mean kalau letak Khairy Jamaluddin, Mukhriz Mahathir n Nurul Izzah dalam satu lain...n push aside korg punye personal sentiment...and study the facts....the real facts about those three's contribution towards our nation...it doesn't take genius to guess it....Korang sendri tahu jawapannya kan?
Bile tgk kat TV...politician guna personal attack...main balas2 serangan...korang tak rasa menyampah ke? Tp masih ada lagi org yang mengikuti benda2 macam ni.Once again, memang la reputasi tu penting....but hilang reputasi kerana hasil kerja yg hampeh berbanding kisah personal ko yg hampeh tu lagi jahanam kot...cthnye...tgk ape jd dekat Tun Abdullah Haji Ahmad Badawi....his reputation is marred due to what people say 'his inability to handle the situation'....
So...bagi aku...klu personal ko baik..tak minum arak...xmain perempuan..xmakan rasuah...tapi ko gagal melaksanakan amanah yg rakyat bagi kat ko...what's the point???? Tapi jgnla pulak kate aku xkisah politician negara aku buat benda2 keji tu....yg salah tetap salah...cume kita kena fikir kenapa kita pilih die...pasal die baik pijak semut xmati or pasal die buat kerja n jaga kebajikan kita sebagai rakyat...
Aku rasa, apa yg kurang dgn kita adalah kemampuan berfikir secara objective...bagus juga semua university mewajibkan course neh sekarang....bagus tindakan kerajaan wat macam nih setelah ramai graduan univertisy menganggur kerana kurang kemahiran mendengar, berkomunikasi dan berfikir....Dari zaman sekolah lagi...CCTS tu jd element penting dalam pembelajaran bagi melahir wholesome citizen....bukan wholesome bread....kita sekarang jarang tanye kenapa n bagaimana....kita lagi suka menerima dan menerima....kita dah malas untuk berfikir...klu boleh di-subkan pemikiran kita...dah lama kita buat....but that's not the right way...aku sendri pun kadang2 pemalas bab fikir-fikir nih....tapi ada mase, kena juga berfikir...baik dan buruk satu keputusan tuh....mcm harga petrol yg nak naik lg nih....hmmm...oleh kerana aku xterjejas sgt...xdela aku melolong kalau minyak naik....dari dulu pun aku gune ron97...n bile ron97 naik arge...aku masih ag pakai ron97....coz aku cume bwk kancil...so berapa sgt la kancil tuh makan minyak....kalau aku isi ron97 dkt shell full tank (rm 40)...seminggu bley tahan....bile pk balik....bile minyak naik...betul ke yg terjejas adelah org berpendapatan rendah....aku waktu berpendapatan rendah dulu (masa belajar), aku naik bas, aku naik LRT...klu naik motor sekalipun...pernah ke full tank smpi rm10 ag???? aku rase yg banyak terjejas adelah org yg mempunyai tangki kereta besar....lu pk la sendri...kereta besar bley beli...minyak mahal banyak bunyik....
Sebenarnya...org bukan takut pasal minyak mahal...tp after effect lepas minyak jd mahal tuh....pas harga minyak naik...mesti harga brg naik....n setiap kali tu la kerajaan jd org bodo....coz sampai sekarang diorg xbley menangani masalah pembekal n peniaga yg menaikkan barang sesuka hati...balik2 denda....klu org2 kaya nih di denda berpuluh2 ribu pun diorg boleh bayar....money is no matter for them...klu bagi denda...esok luse naik lagi la harga gule, minyak,tepung...nak cover duit bayar denda...n rakyat juga jd mangsa....
Sebenarnye jauh di sudut hati, semua rakyat mahukan kerajaan yg effective...takyah g jauh...walaupun aku berapa suka kaedah forced discipline yg kerajaan Singapore pakai...but it works......jarang dgr pemerintah kat selatan sana terlibat dalam kes rasuah....Negara boleh hancur pasal rasuah...kapitalism subur membesar dgn rasuah....Malaysia adalah negara yg semakin berpaksikan kapitalisme....sedikit demi sedikit dah ke arah itu...the rich is getting richer...the poor is getting poorer...berapa ramai la sangat org kita nih yg sanggup buat kerja amal tanpa mengharapkan balasan....klu sebab nak escape byr cukai...ramai la....
So as a conclusion, kita sebagai rakyat...kita kena tahu ape yg kita nak...bukan ape yg org rase kita nak...pasal bangsa, agama dan negara...itu semua dah ada dekat perlembagaan Malaysia...baca dan fahami balik...don't ask pointless question n don't question fixed variables....as long as it still working n won't harm you...why make a fuss???
Monday, September 13, 2010
who needs a guy when I have a GPS n google earth???
Sape yg kenal aku mesti tau yg aku nih suke jln2.....it doesn't matter where...if I put my mind to it...I just pack my bag n go....well ramai juga yg tanya aku....xtakut ke travel sane sini...awak tu perempuan....kan bahaya....hmmm....susah aku nak jawab...tp kat rumah aku pun belum tentu selamat....anywhere is dangerous nowadays....
Aku sebenarnye lebih suka drive dari naik kapal terbang....kalau naik kapal terbang..confirm aku tido...jarang aku jaga...coz gile xcomfortable....n aku memang paling benci bab perjalanan...klu boleh...aku mmg nak terus smpi je...but after hours of journey...when u reach the destination...u will feel that...segale2 bende yg ko tempuhi tu berbaloi....
n why travel? hmm...to put it simply....setiap tempat yg aku pergi,ade cerita sendiri...aku boleh tengok macam2 tempat2 yg cantik, yg bersejarah,barang2 yg cume bley jumpe kt tempat tu, org2 tempatan tempat tu, tengok cara hidup n tradisi diorg....sedikit sebanyak akan buat kita faham...yang kita memang xbyk beza dari org lain....dan kadang2 ia membuatkan kita rasa bernasib baik berbanding orang lain.
n ape yg aku paling xsuke sekali bile travel..ialah terpaksa push aside duit utk beli souvenir...I just don't get it....most of the time...duit aku abes utk beli souvenir utk org lain yg mebi xkan hargai souvenir aku tu...tp klu xbeli kang...muncung lak mulut tu kate aku kedekut.....
n bab travel nih, kes sesat or salah jalan memang dah jd lumrah...boleh kate...aku dgn member selalunye memang xpernah lalu jln2 yg kitorg amik nih...klu dulu...jenuh lah juge nk menanye org...aku igt lagi mase g kenduri kawin kawan aku kt pahang...dah berape jam drive xsmpi2...kate kuar highway trus jumpe...kitorg dh cuak..skali bila tanye org...rupe2nye rumah minah tu jauh ag....
But sejak ade google earth n GPS nih...aku memang dah xrisau sesat ag...so b4 aku make a journey...aku biasekan diri check direction kt google earth n run simulation utk timing mase n cari the shortest distance...on d journey lak GPS mesti kene ade...wat mase nih pau kwn aku punye GPS....so perjalanan dah jadi semakin senang....
Ramai org yg aku jumpe masih xbg anak perempuan diorang especially drive sorg2 or drive jauh2...i can see their point..but for a girl like me, aku mmg agak independent dari kecik...aku selalu cakap kt diri sendri...if I don't do it,who would do it for me? kadang2 aku jeles gak tgk member aku pergi di bawak di hantar...aku lak semua kene g sendri...wat sendri.....coz i don't have someone to rely to....bapak aku dgn mak aku dh ajar aku berdikari dari dulu lg....the reason bapak aku suro amik lesen kereta pun sebab die malas nak hantar aku amik aku...die bagi aku kereta..suke ati aku la nk buat ape pun...janji pandai jaga diri..
Mungkin oleh kerana sikap2 aku yg macam neh menyebabkan aku perangai mcm SNOB gile...esp dgn budak lelaki...coz aku agak proud n ego...aku mcm ade satu perasaan yg nk bgtau kt muka diorg, klu xde diorg pun aku bley idup..aku xlembik,aku buken jenis yg perlu bergantung dgn diorg....
But seriously aku nk gak ape,dihantar diambil,dibelanje makan, dibelanje tgk wayang, dibeli perfume,di beli hand bag....hahahaha...bunyi mcm materialistic gile...
I wish i could be just a girl yg budak laki boleh suke...tp aku akan ase mcm faker lak biel depan diorg....dari dulu...I'm not good wit guys that I really like...if I like them...i would stay away coz I'm afraid of rejection....
so in the end...better aku suke dgn GPS n google Earth...coz at least...they never disappointing me yet...
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