To understand the mind and the soul of our neighbor's nation....Indonesia.....from the lay man point of view..

Why and what makes them hate us so much?????

It all started with the confrontation between Malaysia and Indonesia back in the 1962-1966....to put it simply....Sukarno (the president of Indonesia) at that time hold a grudge due to the creation of Malaysia. Claiming that Malaysia is a British puppet and the formation of Malaysia will increase British control over the Malaya archipelago.Frustrated with Malaysia action to not taking part in the founding of "Maphilindo" and claiming Sarawak and Sabah as part of the Malaysia,Unable to realize his dream of Indonesia raya, holding a grudge. Sukarno decided to pursue with the campaign "Ganyang Malaysia".

So this is where it all started....Malaysia, since the day of it's independence practices constitutional democracy while our neighbor at the early year of independence chose to walk a different path by practicing guided democracy.And what is the different between the two....In Malaysia...yang Dipertuan Agung is the head of the country while prime minister will help with the governing.

Indonesia...being a republic country, they have the president in charge of governing. Back in Sukarno's years of ruling it is widely known that he is a huge fan of communism...n why communism? because unlike other type of practices...communism is sided with the labor and the common people....and for the oppressed nation due to colonization, communism seems like a greater choice...having the absolute freedom to govern the country without intervention from the west.Unlike Malaysia who chose to nurture the diplomatic relationship with the west, Sukarno chose to server the ties completely.

Throughout the independence of Indonesia, the people of that republic had never truly achieved a real freedom...because of a long period of colonization. the post-colonization era is filled with tragic incident. Due to the interfering from the west who sees communism as a threat therefore conspire with Suharto, one of the General during Sukarno era, a coup had taken place and Sukarno is overthrown. Suharto replaced Sukarno as the president and the new era begin. The relationship with the west is mended. The economic condition improving. Communism eroded and replaced by the New Order which the army had taken the center stage...this is the reason why even after Suharto is forced to resign...the army is still a prominent figure and quiet feared in Indonesia.

Due to the recession and the issue of corruption. Suharto is forced to resigned and slapped with corruption charges. Even his family paid the price for it.This is the moment where the real democracy arisen...Indonesian finally has the real chance to speak out, to choose and to give opinion about certain matters. The media finally has a total freedom to do whatever they want to do and write whatever they want to write without the government peaking every second.

Felt cherished with that bless. Their axis now is concentrated on "Reformasi". With hope that Malaysia, will choose to walk the same path, and overthrow the present government by seeing Anwar Ibrahim as their own version of Megawati Sukarnoputri....once again, the hope sank to the bottom of the sea...because Malaysia refused to walk in the same shoes. The fact is loud and clear, the Malaysian has a much capable leader than Indonesia..

Hence, seeing Malaysia as a rebellious little brother, Indonesia started to feel threaten and the old grudge rise again. The Indonesian media, being the culprit behind all the commotion that occurs lately has finally cross the line and become the spark that give birth of Malaysia vs Indonesia Confrontation part 2. Sensationalized the issues of between Malaysia and Indonesia, twisted every detail until the truth and the lies intertwine, with the support of their government to evade the truth about their weakness in administration, blinded by false patriotism....the hatred and the hate towards Malaysia has born. But this heat of  hatred only felt strongly at the Java island where the capital city of Jakarta takes place.And not the whole nation.

These extreme groups comprises of the schools teenagers and the university students: the pawns which mind are easily manipulated, the academician and politician with ulterior motives, the innocents bystanders whose mind are blinded by phony patriotism and  the biased media greedy to make money have nurtured the hatred towards the whole Indonesian nation. The Indonesian nation is a nation full of pride and patriotism. These elements are what make they overlook the real issue that they are suffering which are poverty and incapable current leadership. The ongoing difficult life that they undergo while the rebellious little brother citizen live in prosperity help in inducing low self-esteem inside them.

Claiming that Malaysian are showy people and culture-stealing nation without even thinking that more than quarter of Malaysian citizen ancestors are originally came from Indonesia. Don' they have the right to practice their own culture? Is it fair for the Malaysian citizen?

If Malaysia is so much at fault with stealing Indonesia culture in order to promote Malaysia at the eyes of the world. Why don't the Indonesia administration do something to promote their culture outside?The lack of or might be non-existence promotion of Indonesian culture is the real issue here. No effort taken to nourish and introduce their own culture to the outside world.

The freedom to use the internet without restriction from their government is also one of the reason things getting worse. Indonesia is the largest country in South East Asia. Their population outnumbered Malaysia population with big number. Therefore, they have the power to manipulate the internet to create propaganda. Imagine one people spreading false information to create chaos between Malaysia and Indonesia, the multiply in by millions....and multiply again by millions...each day and every day.....the non-existence issue will become a bigger issues that will surely sure shake the good relationship between Malaysia and Indonesia.

When talking about Indonesia. People will have the concept of inept leadership where corruption takes a center stage, the Indonesia labor migration to other country because of the lack of job opportunity or the cheap pay given to the labor, the inability of the leader to get in control of it's provinces  and the feud with the separatist (remember Irian, East Timor and Acheh?). But, failing to take a closer look at this matter, the Indonesia government trying to divert the focus to Ambalat. Claiming that Malaysia is once again, After the joining of  Borneo into Malaysia, is stealing the land of Indonesia little by little. If they so much lack of capability to govern such a big country, why do they still insist on keeping them?

Then again....Indonesia as a nation full of pride. The pride that they hold on to is the weapon that drove them to the ground. Malaysian should keep their mouth shut and ears deaf from the provocation by made Indonesia. Fighting back or try to rationalize with people who unable to think rationally is worthless. If the Malaysian learn not to be provoked easily and keep mumming...the noise will stop...

One day, the Indonesian will realize that they are barking at the wrong tree...and they will understand that the true meaning of freedom is not only restricted to freedom of speech, they should begin to see that the day when they able to get the job without having to pay someone, when they able to walk into the prestigious shopping mall with being classed or stopped by the security guard, that the big restaurants are not only for the elites, where everyone get the privilege of free education and healthcare system...and that is the time they can hold on to their pride without having to be looked down by other nation.

n that's funny

I'm known as a girl with "a slap to a face tongue"....i'm not fond of giving nasty remarks but i'm a big fan of cynicism...i have the ability to change even the sweetest moment into a dark comedy....yep...dark comedy is my ultimate favorite genre....
it happens a lot...you know when i say nice things about people, or the situation....my mates will look at me with the eager eyes....looking forward for a twist in my statement....sort of like  when i say "she is pretty" or "it's not that bad" there will be a pause....n people start paying attention....waiting for what will come next...n if i just stop there....they will look at me with disbelief....with the face that said "you should say more....we know it....there must be more..."...and i say "what...can't I just be innocent once in a while.....???"
My besties are familiar wit this side of me....so if they are willing to hear the truth....i would be more than open my mouth to vomit it....I'm not good at giving advice....but i could give you the real picture of your situation...i won't say nice words to make you happy...i will give the reality in front of you n i make fun of it....yep...make fun of it....
n why wud i do dat????....coz 4 god sake.....i'm tired of seeing people lie to themselves n asking other people what they should do...when they don't bother to listen...n they know fully well...what they want is stay stuck with the problem...coz making decision will get them hurt.....by making decision they have to move on...they have to start anew...they have to begin from zero again....it's ugly...see...that's why people don't bother with the truth...coz they have gone to far....n after all the wasted efforts...they can't just stop n start over....it's easier to be the victim than try to find the solution...it's easier to dwell in their misfortune rather than move on with their life...coz people are more afraid of loneliness than useless company.....they are hurting but they don't want to get hurt...don't you think it's funny????
And what's more funny....seeing people lie when there is no reason to lie....with the lame reason "i don't want people talking about me"...wtf is that....don't you think people are dumb that they won't find out the truth....come on...admit it...if you do shitty things...no matter how hard you try, you can't hide it....but if the shitty things you do is not worth hiding....why bother...why make things worse n let people gossiping about you....for example...if your bf give u a car...don't be stupid n tell the world ur daddy give the car to you...u can just smile...n tell people...."it's a secret"....or if u r a second wife, don't go telling people that the reason your husband married you is because he wants a child of his own...coz nobody bothers to know why....if you still expect people will look at you in a brighter light by showing your (lie version) good side....you think wrong....the more lies you give...the more excuses u lay out....the uglier things become....n people will talk even more...
When people are in trouble....or havin a problem wit other people...they always in need of allies to back them up...these people are weak...i always believe...if people mess wit you...somewhere along the line...in the past...you might had screwed with other people...n now the time for reckoning come to your face....but u just can't take it...so b4 you start blaming...why dun u ask yourselves "what is wrong?" before telling a bunch of your friends or selling sad story of your cute little life being ransacked by this or that people....n turn these people into haters just becoz someone screwed your life....why don't u just be strong n face it.fight them your own way..clean up your own mess..why do you think by having people at your side make u right?....they are your friend...of coz they support you no matter how wrong you are.Sometimes the fault is ours...but by having people to support you...it blinds you from noticing it.....
just like Nora Danish blames Fasha Sandha as a husband stealer n a gold digger just becoz Fasha took her husband from her when everybody knows the truth...whether Rizal  belongs to Nora or Fasha....both of them are equally the same....ain't it funny???

erk...kejamnye si B

Perbualan telefon antara A dan B.......

B: Hello A, td ko call ye? sori la xangkat aku tido.....

A: Oh...a'ah td saya call awak?

B:Nape?

A:Saya sedih la B....awak tgh watpe tuh....

B: Tgh tgk movie...

A:Saya nih x ok skang neh...byk masalah saya....

B:.........

A: Macam- macam masalah saya, family saya, kerja saya, kesihatan saya....semua orang xfaham saya...saya xtau dah nk cakap dengan siapa????

B:..........

A: Family saya macam dah xkisah dgn saye, kwn2 tempat kerja pula mcm xsuka saya...dah lah saya asik sakit2 je.....diorg asik2 nak perli saya...

B:.........

A: Saya sedih la B...rasa macam saya ni sorang2...xde sape ambil kisah....bla bla bla......

(lepas 1 jam)

B:...........

A: ok la B....macam dah lame kite cakap.....thanks la sebab dengar saya mengadu ye.

B:Ok....(dalam ati  "damn....movie best dah abis....damn.....credit aku dah abis......sob sob sob.....)

fixing n getting in control

I thought my day as the fixer is over...but when it comes to working environment...the fixing part has come to revisit me...just like a deja vu...I always have the preconception that the adults should be more mature in thinking and judging...but how wrong I am....the same shit happens regardless your age...
The typical mindset of looking for someone to point fingers to, to dump all the responsibility to so as to make their own life easier, the lack of interest of getting things done.....it's the same old craps that I found back in the Uni days....but at this age....it is...capital UGLY.....
Since i like to observe how things done before i get into the picture....I find many things that amuse me..and to see the aged people acting childishly is WOW.....i'm so speechless....and I flashback to back when I started working, i screwed thing up badly....my register book is a total mess, I'm not good at preparing program booklet, n i left my SBPT list unattended until the last minute...to tell the truth I fake the data for the SBOA...damn...i do feel bad...i don't know whether it is due to lack of motivation or I"m just purely busy..but when i get the chance..i attend to it one at a time....it's really freaking difficult...for a lazy ass like me...i wish documents n data never exist....
When it comes to fixing things..n getting things done...I'm natural...i adapt easily..I just love to have everything under control...And I am clueless as to why this habit of fixing things sticks with me..I just hate to see the carefully laid plan screwed up if it could be improved...it's a shame....though I myself is a screwed up case. When people pop me with the question...don't u feel used? why do you put up wit it? i lost for words...coz i'm not seeing myself as a victim...i do have a time when i just throw everything...i do have the lazy spell....but there are times that i just want to work it...to make things possible..to patch the hole on the sinking boat....it's not easy but it's worth it...i do not see myself as a reliable person...but trying my best doesn't hurt...it just me to have a back up....it's not like i'm trying to impress people...i just happen to think quicker...
and how do i learn all these...through experience...n u just know what to expect from people that u work with...utilize their strength n minimize their craps....I'm happy to work with an asshole if he can do his job well, and i won't be frustrated if my partner is a lay backer to the core....that's why professionally I hardly feel frustrated whomever is my working partner...coz I'm the type who would choose my enemy over my friend if it help completed the work....I don't think it's a hypocrisy...i call it surviving...coz in the end...if things blown to pieces...u are to blame...coz you don't work it enough to succeed it...
There are times that I blew it..things that i just couldn't control....just like when the UPSR result for English came out...though it's only decreasing by a mere 7%...it is still going down...those percentages came from my student...I talked to myself..."it's shit Amy..it is your fault..."although people around me trying to make me feel better...it doesn't work...coz it's beyond my control...and I'm out of my comfort zone...therefore I lost the confidence....
and now, thanks to the "trying to fix things up to make it easier", i've become a JU...another field i'm not familiar with...i am agitating...it's hard to be in control of the things you are not familiar with...i know this stuff will take it's toll on me sooner or later...but it's a shame to turn a blind eye from something within your power to fix...n i hope people will get me when they see me doing something that shouldn't be mine to deal with at the first place...unlike other people....it just so not my style seeing other people screwed up and not do anything about it....

apekah pilihan aku?

Ramai orang tanya...dimanakah kedudukan sebenar aku bila masuk bab politik, bab agama, bab bangsa n bab negara. Jawapan aku simple...mcm yg aku tulis kat FB...Apathetic....Ramai org kata, orang mcm aku xde pendirian...coz bg diorg untuk jd org berpendirian kita kena take side...ade aku kisah???
1st of all, klu tanye aku sape yg aku akan undi utk pilihan raya akan datang...sorry...i dun vote for parties...I'm looking at the individual....balik Ampang skang hati aku senang...jalan dah xberlubang2.....tq to ADUN bahagian Chempaka dari parti PAS....n aku sgt happy coz lift kat rumah aku...dua2 lift dah repair...n sgt cantik....tq to KERAJAAN PUSAT dari parti komponen BN....n sape aku nk undi nnt...ko pk sendri la.....
Bg aku...the rule is simple...if leader ko...yg duduk kt atas tu buat kerja betul2...n benefit die mmg dpt kt rakyat...aku sokong....I hate personal agenda....that's why aku xsuke Anwar Ibrahim...duh.....even blind people can see kot....so walaupun die mmg baik gile sekalipun...but once dia jadikan perjuangan dia tu personal...he won't get my vote...
n xkirela opposition or government...dua2 pun ade pro n cons...mcm aku...sbb aku kerja dgn kerajaan...mestilah aku kena sokong kerajaan...but klu opposition come out with something plausible n good...xdela aku condemn....coz kerajaan yg kite ade nih pun bukan maksum..or betul 100%....
Bagi aku...individuality n party is a separate matter...xsemestinya ko dari parti A...ko kene act and react mcm kebanyakan org dari golongan parti A...keberanian bersuara bila tahu ada sesuatu yang salah...that's they key to success...Lgpun dari kelakuan politician sendri pun,kite boleh observe yg die nih org yg macam mana...i mean kalau letak Khairy Jamaluddin, Mukhriz Mahathir n Nurul Izzah dalam satu lain...n push aside korg punye personal sentiment...and study the facts....the real facts about those three's contribution towards our nation...it doesn't take genius to guess it....Korang sendri tahu jawapannya kan?
Bile tgk kat TV...politician guna personal attack...main balas2 serangan...korang tak rasa menyampah ke? Tp masih ada lagi org yang mengikuti benda2 macam ni.Once again, memang la reputasi tu penting....but hilang reputasi kerana hasil kerja yg hampeh berbanding kisah personal ko yg hampeh tu lagi jahanam kot...cthnye...tgk ape jd dekat Tun Abdullah Haji Ahmad Badawi....his reputation is marred due to what people say 'his inability to handle the situation'....
So...bagi aku...klu personal ko baik..tak minum arak...xmain perempuan..xmakan rasuah...tapi ko gagal melaksanakan amanah yg rakyat bagi kat ko...what's the point???? Tapi jgnla pulak kate aku xkisah politician negara aku buat benda2 keji tu....yg salah tetap salah...cume kita kena fikir kenapa kita pilih die...pasal die baik pijak semut xmati or pasal die buat kerja n jaga kebajikan kita sebagai rakyat...
Aku rasa, apa yg kurang dgn kita adalah kemampuan berfikir secara objective...bagus juga semua university mewajibkan course neh sekarang....bagus tindakan kerajaan wat macam nih setelah ramai graduan univertisy menganggur kerana kurang kemahiran mendengar, berkomunikasi dan berfikir....Dari zaman sekolah lagi...CCTS tu jd element penting dalam pembelajaran bagi melahir wholesome citizen....bukan wholesome bread....kita sekarang jarang tanye kenapa n bagaimana....kita lagi suka menerima dan menerima....kita dah malas untuk berfikir...klu boleh di-subkan pemikiran kita...dah lama kita buat....but that's not the right way...aku sendri pun kadang2 pemalas bab fikir-fikir nih....tapi ada mase, kena juga berfikir...baik dan buruk satu keputusan tuh....mcm harga petrol yg nak naik lg nih....hmmm...oleh kerana aku xterjejas sgt...xdela aku melolong kalau minyak naik....dari dulu pun aku gune ron97...n bile ron97 naik arge...aku masih ag pakai ron97....coz aku cume bwk kancil...so berapa sgt la kancil tuh makan minyak....kalau aku isi ron97 dkt shell full tank (rm 40)...seminggu bley tahan....bile pk balik....bile minyak naik...betul ke yg terjejas adelah org berpendapatan rendah....aku waktu berpendapatan rendah dulu (masa belajar), aku naik bas, aku naik LRT...klu naik motor sekalipun...pernah ke full tank smpi rm10 ag???? aku rase yg banyak terjejas adelah org yg mempunyai tangki kereta besar....lu pk la sendri...kereta besar bley beli...minyak mahal banyak bunyik....
Sebenarnya...org bukan takut pasal minyak mahal...tp after effect lepas minyak jd mahal tuh....pas harga minyak naik...mesti harga brg naik....n setiap kali tu la kerajaan jd org bodo....coz sampai sekarang diorg xbley menangani masalah pembekal n peniaga yg menaikkan barang sesuka hati...balik2 denda....klu org2 kaya nih di denda berpuluh2 ribu pun diorg boleh bayar....money is no matter for them...klu bagi denda...esok luse naik lagi la harga gule, minyak,tepung...nak cover duit bayar denda...n rakyat juga jd mangsa....
Sebenarnye jauh di sudut hati, semua rakyat mahukan kerajaan yg effective...takyah g jauh...walaupun aku berapa suka kaedah forced discipline yg kerajaan Singapore pakai...but it works......jarang dgr pemerintah kat selatan sana terlibat dalam kes rasuah....Negara boleh hancur pasal rasuah...kapitalism subur membesar dgn rasuah....Malaysia adalah negara yg semakin berpaksikan kapitalisme....sedikit demi sedikit dah ke arah itu...the rich is getting richer...the poor is getting poorer...berapa ramai la sangat org kita nih yg sanggup buat kerja amal tanpa mengharapkan balasan....klu sebab nak escape byr cukai...ramai la....
So as a conclusion, kita sebagai rakyat...kita kena tahu ape yg kita nak...bukan ape yg org rase kita nak...pasal bangsa, agama dan negara...itu semua dah ada dekat perlembagaan Malaysia...baca dan fahami balik...don't ask pointless question n don't question fixed variables....as long as it still working n won't harm you...why make a fuss???

who needs a guy when I have a GPS n google earth???

Sape yg kenal aku mesti tau yg aku nih suke jln2.....it doesn't matter where...if I put my mind to it...I just pack my bag n go....well ramai juga yg tanya aku....xtakut ke travel sane sini...awak tu perempuan....kan bahaya....hmmm....susah aku nak jawab...tp kat rumah aku pun belum tentu selamat....anywhere is dangerous nowadays....

Aku sebenarnye lebih suka drive dari naik kapal terbang....kalau naik kapal terbang..confirm aku tido...jarang aku jaga...coz gile xcomfortable....n aku memang paling benci bab perjalanan...klu boleh...aku mmg nak terus smpi je...but after hours of journey...when u reach the destination...u will feel that...segale2 bende yg ko tempuhi tu berbaloi....

n why travel? hmm...to put it simply....setiap tempat yg aku pergi,ade cerita sendiri...aku boleh tengok macam2 tempat2 yg cantik, yg bersejarah,barang2 yg cume bley jumpe kt tempat tu, org2 tempatan tempat tu, tengok cara hidup n tradisi diorg....sedikit sebanyak akan buat kita faham...yang kita memang xbyk beza dari org lain....dan kadang2 ia membuatkan kita rasa bernasib baik berbanding orang lain.

n ape yg aku paling xsuke sekali bile travel..ialah terpaksa push aside duit utk beli souvenir...I just don't get it....most of the time...duit aku abes utk beli souvenir utk org lain yg mebi xkan hargai souvenir aku tu...tp klu xbeli kang...muncung lak mulut tu kate aku kedekut.....

n bab travel nih, kes sesat or salah jalan memang dah jd lumrah...boleh kate...aku dgn member selalunye memang xpernah lalu jln2 yg kitorg amik nih...klu dulu...jenuh lah juge nk menanye org...aku igt lagi mase g kenduri kawin kawan aku kt pahang...dah berape jam drive xsmpi2...kate kuar highway trus jumpe...kitorg dh cuak..skali bila tanye org...rupe2nye rumah minah tu jauh ag....

But sejak ade google earth n GPS nih...aku memang dah xrisau sesat ag...so b4 aku make a journey...aku biasekan diri check direction kt google earth n run simulation utk timing mase n cari the shortest distance...on d journey lak GPS mesti kene ade...wat mase nih pau kwn aku punye GPS....so perjalanan dah jadi semakin senang....

Ramai org yg aku jumpe masih xbg anak perempuan diorang especially drive sorg2 or drive jauh2...i can see their point..but for a girl like me, aku mmg agak independent dari kecik...aku selalu cakap kt diri sendri...if I don't do it,who would do it for me? kadang2 aku jeles gak tgk member aku pergi di bawak di hantar...aku lak semua kene g sendri...wat sendri.....coz i don't have someone to rely to....bapak aku dgn mak aku dh ajar aku berdikari dari dulu lg....the reason bapak aku suro amik lesen kereta pun sebab die malas nak hantar aku amik aku...die bagi aku kereta..suke ati aku la nk buat ape pun...janji pandai jaga diri..

Mungkin oleh kerana sikap2 aku yg macam neh menyebabkan aku perangai mcm SNOB gile...esp dgn budak lelaki...coz aku agak proud n ego...aku mcm ade satu perasaan yg nk bgtau kt muka diorg, klu xde diorg pun aku bley idup..aku xlembik,aku buken jenis yg perlu bergantung dgn diorg....

But seriously aku nk gak ape,dihantar diambil,dibelanje makan, dibelanje tgk wayang, dibeli perfume,di beli hand bag....hahahaha...bunyi mcm materialistic gile...

I wish i could be just a girl yg budak laki boleh suke...tp aku akan ase mcm faker lak biel depan diorg....dari dulu...I'm not good wit guys that I really like...if I like them...i would stay away coz I'm afraid of rejection....

so in the end...better aku suke dgn GPS n google Earth...coz at least...they never disappointing me yet...

racist can go to hell

lately...aku makin rasa disgusted with every racist remarks yg menjulang2kan bangsa dan menghentam bangsa lain....n pity with org yg bodo pergi melayan bende2 yg bodo mcm tu...it is so not worth it....

When I was little...the racial thingy is not even an issue...to tell the truth...aku lebih culture shock bila duduk dengan semua Melayu....well, aku rase the same goes to my multiracial friends bile tercampak di dalam kelompok kaum masing2 yg jumud dan berfikiran singkat....

Bagi aku, kalau hidup terpaksa berpaksikan kaum...apa lagi yang tinggal tentang individuality...I know I'm not the perfect person to talk about it....but things has gotten funnier n funnier everyday dat even the ignorant me start giving a snide remarks about this matter....what is it wit paranoia that the other races will try to cut your throat every chance they have...I find it funny....why try to make yourself feel better by undermining other races...talking about criminal...haven't we all got representative from each dominant races in Malaysia...we have Mona Fendi from Malay, Botak Chin from Chinese and Kali Muthu from Indian...see...we are not perfect....n by sticking to races...it's forbade us from seeing our own personal defect....

When I was in MRSM...i saw one of my Kristian Kadazan friend was called Kafir n badly treated by others...by Allah's will...this fella is a Muslim now...but bet you...those racist scoundrel were not a reason he becoming a muslim.... I was there...and I felt disgusted by it...I saw a girl trying hard to be true believer that she made everyone annoyed with her....I always believe that, in order to correct the people from being wrong...we must be right first...that's why I always try to point out to her...yep..I'm not pious..n I'm not trying to impose my value on others...but i can assure you I know a lot more than you do...coz I know people...n I know she's faking it just to be accepted....just to get the attention...I hate when people start adoring other people n quote that particular person's word as a phrase from Quran or bible. What the heck....

Ketaksuban is a step towards kejahilan...

I thought it only happen in my religion...but it does happen in any other religion...So faith n race has got nothing to do in matters like this...it's about mindset, about the inability to use the brain god has given u n think without being influenced by others....no wonder the cult has become infamous this day...isn't it absurd if you can't sing Negaraku song becoz it will conveys the meaning that you are associating your god wit your country...n when others try to reason wit it...they are called as devil's tongue....how moronic can these people be....

In every religion...god always tell the people to be humble, to be accepting,to be patient....but what had happened???n we dare to claim ourselves the warrior of god....it's a disgrace...so next time...before you want to give any racism or anti-religious remarks...please use your brain....coz you are not walking directly to heaven....don't be proud wit who you are.....let god be the judge.....

Film Director-Writer ANTHONY WONG KFC Voice of Tomorrow

kenape aku jd cikgu....Hmm

Hmmm...nape ek...setiap pekerjaan mesti xterlepas dari stereotyping...contohnye...bile aku jadik chekgu...orang akan expect perempuan ayu,pakai baju kurung,pakai spek,sifat sopan santun,lemah gemalai,dengar lagu Siti....bla...bla....bla....same gak dgn org yg jd doktor...muke smart,kemas,prihatin, skema....bla bla bla.... Aku bohsan bile org berkate ayat2 sebegini "Awak cikgu? xnampak macam cikgu pun?"...Dem...perluke nampak macam cikgu untuk menjadi seorg cikgu...aku pun xpaham...Kerani sekolah aku pun nampak macam cikgu gak....tukang sapu sekolah aku melaram lagi hebat dari chekgu....apekah penting untuk nampak seperti chekgu untuk menjadi cikgu yg baik???

Ape kriteria2 yg perlu ada untuk nampak macam chekgu.Topeng apekah yg perlu aku pakai untuk kelihatan seperti gikgu yg bagus. Coz aku rase mcm aku ngajar agak hampeh lately...sob sob sob... Mase aku skool rendah dulu, ade sorg cikgu nih bley tahan ruggednye, siap dye rambut caler2 gitu....(time aku skool rendah,caler rambut belum IN lagi yek),tapi aku xpernah lak kutuk die pasal penampilan die.Aku kutuk pasal die kerek ade lah. Mase aku skool menengah pun, ade je cikgu ala2 freak. But aku ase diorg ok je mengajar. And one thing yg aku perasan, org selalu kate cikgu nih role model untuk pelajar. Ape yg cikgu buat, itu yg budak ikut. But serius, mase aku sekolah, xtergerak pun aku nak jd kan cikgu idola aku. Coz aku ase diorg pun macam org lain.Manusia biase.They are not perfect.

Bile aku jd cikgu neh.Everytime aku nak buat something, aku igt balik mase aku blajar dulu.aku bukan mulia sgt. So xde maknenye aku nak ajar yg bende aku sendri xbuat dulu. Aku dulu nakal,suke fly,suke ponteng...tp result aku not bad...bukan ala2 mcm xde mase depan dah.Aku kene maki bley tahan gak.Merah gak la aku menadah telinge.So bile aku dah jd cikgu neh, aku jarang gile bagi homework.Biasenye aku bg keja waktu kelas je.Coz time tu je budak akan buat kerja.Hallo, aku dulu sekolah..balik rumah jgn harap nak pegang buku...but dalam kelas walaupun nampak aku mcm sengal je...kadang2 tido,kadang2 berangan, tapi aku dengar ape yg cikgu ajar. So dari situ aku rase input yg terbaik sekali adelah dalam kelas.Lagipun klu bg homework pun, bukan diorg nak buat sendri.alih2 tiru budak2 yg rajin.Aku pun buat camtu....especially klu buat add math dulu...xde maknenye aku nk buat sendri. And lagi satu soal pilih kasih.

Aku admit aku xberape suke dgn budak2.especially toddler.Gedik je diorg.N aku paling xsuke tgk muke retard org dewasa mengagah budak2 tuh.Just aku lucky sket sebab aku ade adik kecik.So at least aku adela pengalaman handle n buli budak2 kecik neh.But walaupun aku naturally xberape suke melayan budak2.Budak2 suke dtg mmenghimpit aku.Be it boys or girls.Especially yg saiko.Bile aku tanye, asal suke dtg menghimpit aku.Diorg kata aku xpilih kasih.Well,ape yg aku belajar tentang budak. Biarla comot ke, miskin ke,jahat ke.aku xpernah lagi sampai ketepikan diorg atau labelkan diorg.Sebab masa aku skool dulu,aku byk kali kena mcm tu dgn cikgu.Sampai besar pun aku sceptical dgn makhluk yg bernama cikgu.Aku adalah produk keluaran cikgu yang bermuka2 dan xbley menerima benda yg berbeza dari expectation diorg.So aku sentiase berjanji kat diri sendri,jahat mana student aku,celupar mana mulut diorg,aku mintak aku masih boleh lagi terima diorg.Aku sentiase mintak tuhan tolong sabarkan hati aku.Alhamdulillah,aku masih lagi xde berat sebelah or maki hamun bantai2 budak.

Masa aku sekolah rendah,aku sangat suka dgn cikgu BI aku.Sempoi abis cikgu tuh.Die rilek je, time rehat isap rokok.Fesyen rambut Afro lagi.Die kalau bantai, memang gune pembaris besi.Selalu juge aku kena dgn die psl xsiap homework.Tapi aku tetap suke die.Coz die sgt adil dgn semua student dlm kelas.Memang die xlayanla stock2 budak kiss ass or attention seeker neh.n yg paling penting,walaupun die xberia2 buat kelas tambahan or tusyen mcm sesetengah cikgu.Aku tetap score A time UPSR.Pasal aku sgt suke belajar dgn die.Die ajar aku BI tiga tahun straight,dari darjah 4 sampai darjah 6.Pasal die la aku minat belajar BI.Walaupun budak2 lain lebih suke dgn cikgu kelas aku yg kononnye sporting.But aku lak menyampah dgn cikgu tuh.Coz die budget best n macam bagus.

Sebenarnye, mase skool aku paling pantang bile ade cikgu menyibuk2 hal aku.Ada seorg cikgu neh,suke sgt busybody ambik tau hal org.Kebetulan die pernah ajar kakak aku dulu n agak rapat dgn kakak aku.Die assume aku pun jenis yg suke mengadu masalah kt cikgu.So, selalu la die panggil aku kt bilik guru.Pastu tersengih2 kambing tanye pasal family aku,pasal aku.Kalau ikutkan hati nak je aku curah air kat muka die.Hallo, aku bukan jenis budak yg suicidal even family aku ade problem sekali pun.N aku bukan jenis yg akan affected dgn bende2 remeh camtu.My life is my own.My doing has nothing to do wit my background. N aku juge benci cikgu yg suke exaggerate mende tah hape2.Especially stock ustaz n ustazah.Aku fly tgk bola.diorg bley buat cerita aku buat bende xelok.Sampai skang aku ase nak cili mulut cikgu tuh.Dah la xtau ape2.xbg aku explain lak tuh.Pastu terus fitnah aku kaw kaw.Sampai aku kene buang asrama.Tapi yang aku bengang, die buat cerita kat bapak aku.bila aku nak terangkan keadaan sebenar aku lak kena tuduh kurang ajar.Bapak aku suruh aku mintak maaf lak tuh.Serius aku langsung xikhlas mintak maaf. Pasal malas nak gaduh dgn bapak aku je aku buat.Serius, time tu aku sumpah anak die jadi bohsia.Biar malu muke die, fitnah anak org sesedap rase. Tu belum masuk kes mengumpat aku dgn student lain.Aku betul2 xpaham, kalau nak bercakap sesame guru kat bilik guru.Aku paham la,coz nak sharing problem mcm mane nk mendidik anak bangse.Neh pasal isu tangan aku luke sebab belajar main gitar pun ustazah tuh nak canang sampai ke kelas budak2 lain lain.Gile aku tak hangin. Kononnye main gitar tuh haram, Abis tuh mengumpat aku xharam la. Kadang-kadang aku tau perbuatan aku memang salah, tapi standard la.Name pun budak. Tgh dlm phase rebellious.

Aku igt mase aku fly nk g CC dgn kawan aku.well,since kwn aku tuh laki.teruk gak aku kene ceramah agama.sedangkan aku dgn mamat tu, relationship kitorg sangat platonic kot. Aku adalah seorg budak perempuan yg lebih mementing komik dan Online game berbanding menggatal dgn jantan.Lelaki adalah ditempat kedua dibelakang komik.So aku rase cikgu2 aku sangat stupido bile diorg bagi ceramah yg berbunyi "lelaki yg baik utk perempuan yg baik,lelaki yg jahat utk perempuan yg jahat"...aku serius nak jerit kat diorg "wei bodo, aku gi CC nak main game la bangang...aku bosan duk hostel"...Seb baik pengetua aku sgt memahami keadaan aku n sikap aku yg sengal tuh dan tidak membuang aku dari asrama.Especially bile die tahu aku lg suke klu kene buang asrama.bley balik kl,ari2 main game kt umah.Bile SPM baru datang exam.lg heaven.Tapi cian kawan aku kene buang.Bile igt balik aku ase guilty kat die.But, few years had passed.Aku dgn mamat tuh masih lagi ngam n masih lagi platonic.We've made it out, although we lived in the world full of paranoia n absurd people.

N lagi satu,aku benci cikgu yg dlm kategori mulut mcm org xsekolah.Ade sorg cikgu mase aku kt MRSM, die nie cikgu baru.But WTF,berlagak bagus.(aku malas nak masuk issue muke pecah dan sebagainye)Tapi mulut xreti jaga. Kebetulan ade buat roll-call utk tangkap budak yg fly.n kene duk atas simen mlm2 bute sementare nak kesan budak2 yg fly.Mujur la aku xfly malam tuh.aku lak xbley duk atas simen.rase nak muntah la.so aku pun g la toilet. then cikgu neh bley cakap ayat nk makan penampar kat aku "nih asal nak muntah lak nih.Dah berisi?" Fuh menggigil dah tangan aku time tuh.Aku sempat juge cakap kt die "cakap tuh biar pakai otak"..belum sempat die balas aku blah g toilet.Pastu trus masuk hostel.Malas aku nk melayan org mcm tuh.igt aku budak2 bodo tepi jalan yg main serah2 badan kat jantan ke.

Aku xtau kenape,biasenye cikgu favourite aku mostly mmg cikgu BI. Coz diorg ade personality yg bley distinct diorg dari cikgu2 lain. And mostly cikgu BI aku x overbearing kecuali Puan Baljit yg suke menjerit2 panggil name aku dalam kelas sebab aku suke berangan n xsiap homework.Yg penting,aku xrase lemas dgn diorg. Aku jenis budak yg perlu dibiarkan seorg diri.So aku sgt xsuka bile ade cikgu cuba untuk menceroboh safety zone aku or menyebuk hal aku. Coz aku bukan buat hal untuk cari perhatian. Tapi aku naturally born SENGAL.So, the best way is to leave me alone. So mane2 cikgu yg xsuke busybody seperti Datin Zafirah (Cikgu BM aku mase form2),Gile aku suke die.Bukan saje lawa, n yang paling penting...die xpernah maki hamun aku walaupun aku ponteng kelas die.Setakat kene perli seperti bertapa dalam toilet tu, xmerah telinge aku lah....n miss Aina pun baik juge. N puan Sakinah and miss Azizah......I miss them so much...

Bagi aku,aku xkisah kalau cikgu tuh garang or saiko or freak sekalipun.Kalau cikgu garang, aku memang lah takut. Macam cikgu disiplin aku mase kat SAB dulu.Mr Tan name die.Garang nak mampus.Aku kalau buat salah, memang menggigil takut kene pelempang dengan dia. Ade sekali tuh,aku ponteng kelas dgn member, siap bace komik kat astaka. Mujur la time tuh,budak2 form 3 baru abis oral test utk PMR. Bile die dtg kt kitorg...die tanye "how's the oral test? ok?"...aku dgn member aku gile rase dah putus nafas dah time tuh....kitorg angguk2 je...dlm hati...mampuslah kalau die tau kitorg baru form 2....pas die blah je....terus kitorg cabut masuk kelas balik. Tapi walaupun die garang, aku suke time die ajar aku add-math...kire aku lebih paham ape yg die ajar dari ape yg cikgu aku ajar kt MRSM...sbb tu pas masuk MRSM...aku rase menyampah gile...coz cikgu kat sane emo2....automatically aku jadi kerek dan suke memekakkan telinge.Aku paling pantang cikgu masuk kelas maki hamun budak....kat MRSM...sape2 cikgu yg kategori hormon xstabil neh...memang susah la nak nampak aku dlm kelas diorg....adil....diorg hepi...sebab xyah maki aku...aku pun hepi xyah tgk muke diorg....n bukan aku je pun yg kene maki pun...ramai...tp serius sakit jiwa ade cikgu macam neh....

So mungkin kerana aku banyak sangat xngam dgn cikgu mase skola...n sebab aku asik kate "cikgu ape camni...bullshit"...lama kelamaan tuhan membalas dgn cash perbuatan aku dgn menjadikan aku seorg guru.N bila aku dh jadi cikgu sekarang nih...setiap kali aku nak buat something.....aku igt balik...nape aku menyampah dgn cikgu2 aku yg hampeh dulu ni. So aku pun berikrar,aku xnak jd guru yg mcm diorg.So aku xnk hipokrit cakap aku baik. aku tunjuk kat budak2 siape aku kat luar.And aku pesan diorg, if aku bley accept diorg walau siape pun diorg..diorg pun kena accept aku walau siape pun aku.Aku xkan berceramah tentang benda yg aku sendri pun xbuat.Aku cume cakap tentang benda ape yg aku buat. Contohnye, walaupun perangai aku hampeh...tapi aku tetap utamakan pelajaran. Walaupun aku main Dota...aku tetap siapkan keje aku dulu...pastu baru main Dota. Bile aku free je, aku bace komik....bukan 24 jam sehari. Walaupun aku xpakai tudung, xsemestinye aku buat benda xelok,walaupun aku budak KL, xsemestinye aku sosial......

Yang penting dalam hidup bukan duit, bukan harta, tapi kemampuan berfikir sendiri baik dan buruk sesuatu benda.bukan menerima atau menurut membabi buta. Dan perlu ada keberanian untuk menegakkan prinsip diri.Jgn jadi lalang.Fikir tentang mase depan. Baik dan buruk setiap perbuatan kita.Dan sentiasa kena percaya diri sendiri, sentiasa berusaha utk jadi lebih bagus. Dan walaupun life ko suck gile babi....jgn jadikan bende tu alasan utk give up.Coz aku as a teacher, xpernah give up utk ajar ko lagi...... As a conclusion, 1 year teaching experience mmg belum cukup utk membuktikan aku adalah cikgu yg baik.Macam syok sendri pulak.Cume, aku berusaha utk ikhlaskan hati aku n mengajar dgn cara aku sendri. Have a lot of fun wit them. Coz mase aku sekolah dulu...aku cume igt cikgu yg buat aku happy lebih daripada cikgu yg buat aku pandai....Tp klu dpt buat dua2 skali lagi bagus....but aku thankful dgn cikgu2 yg mengajar aku...cume parut dalam hati aku memang xkan hilang...dan aku berharap...aku xkan tinggalkan parut yg sama terhadap student2 aku....semoga aku lebih ikhlas....walaupun aku agak xtentu arah skang nih...classroom management hancur lebur....

Perjuangan belum selesai -mengisi kemerdekaan lebih susah dari menuntutnya....berjayakah kita???? Selamat Hari Kebangsaan ke-53.

Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang lebih menyayat hati

Dari melihat bangsaku dijajah

Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan

Dari membiarkan bangsaku dihina

Air mata tiada ertinya

Sejarah silam tiada maknanya

Sekiranya bangsa tercinta terpinggir

Dipersenda dan dilupakan

Bukan kecil langkah wira bangsa

Para pejuang kemerdekaan

Bagi menegakkan kemuliaan

Dan darjat bangsa

Selangkah bererti mara

Mengharung sejuta dugaan

Biarkan bertatih

Asalkan langkah itu yakin dan cermat B

agi memastikan negara

Merdeka dan bangsa terpelihara

Aiir mata sengsara

Mengiringi setiap langkah bapa-bapa kita

Tugas kita bukan kecil

Kerana mengisi kemerdekaan

Rupanya lebih sukar dari bermandi

Keringat dan darah menuntutnya

Lagi pula apalah ertinya kemerdekaan

Kalau bangsaku asyik mengia

Dan menidakkan

,Mengangguk dan membenarkan,

Kerana sekalipun bangganya negara

Kerana makmur dan mewahnya

Bangsaku masih melata

Dan meminta-minta di negaranya sendiri

Bukan kecil tugas kita

Meneruskan perjuangan kemerdekaan kita

Kerana rupanya selain memerdekakan,

Mengisi kemerdekaan jauh lebih sengsara

Bangsaku bukan kecil hati dan jiwanya

Bukankah sejak zaman berzaman

Mereka menjadi pelaut, pengembara

Malah penakluk terkemuka?

Bukankah mereka sudah mengembangkan sayap

Menjadi pedagang dan peniaga

Selain menjadi ulama dan ilmuwan terbilang?

Bukankah bangsaku pernah mengharung

Samudera menjajah dunia yang tak dikenal

Bukankah mereka pernah menjadiwira serantau

Yang tidak mengenal erti takut dan kematian?

Tugas kita belum selesai rupanya

Bagi memartabat dan memuliakan bangsa

Kerana hanya bangsa yang berjaya

Akan sentiasa dihormati

Rupanya masih jauh dan berliku jalan kita

Bukan sekadar memerdeka dan mengisinya

Tetapi mengangkat darjat dan kemuliaan

Buat selama-lamanya

Hari ini, jalan ini pasti semakin berliku

Kerana masa depan belum menjanjikan syurga

Bagi mereka yang lemah dan mudah kecewa

Perjuangan kita belum selesai

Kerana hanya yang cekal dan tabah

Dapat membina mercu tanda

Bangsanya yang berjaya.

- Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad (Malam Puisi Utusan, 4 Mei 1996)

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